Hi kids, as London’s leading queer performance venue, esteemed “taste-makers” and – let’s face it – probably the coolest bunch of nutbags around, we thought you might want to know what The Glory would watch at the Fringe this month if we weren’t physically cemented to the floor in Haggerston and full of screaming avant-garde gays. (And – if The Glory closed Princess Julia would have to turn her central heating on)
Excuse us for not spending ages on making this blog post look gorgeous but we’re just gonna smack out with a quick show list of who you should defs see while you’re up there, so you can sit back and get sloshed in the safe knowledge you’re off to see a goodun’ later.
There are 10 amazing shows here in our list, they’re not in any particular order but you’re a fool if you don’t go and see Diane Chorley hazing away with Milky Bar Kid in “Rhythm of LIVE”, her new songs are LIT!
And if you’re wondering who the next big stand-up stars are – well plot spoiler – they’re called Joe Sutherland and Sarah Keyworth and they’re both gay and they’re both at the Fringe, and they’re fucking friggin’ gorgeous – the bastards! Also shout out to Jayde Adams at this point because she’ll be reading this adding up The Glory’s plugs and compliments on her comedy industry abacus.
Top tip: Tom Allen, Jayde Adams and Joe Sutherland are all back-to-back in roughly the same place with just enough time to go to the toilet and grab a pint inbetween. We only got a B in GCSE Geography so we were well chuffed when we worked that out using Google Maps. Just kidding, the venue names all start with Pleasance Courtyard.
Also: If you go to these shows do grab a selfie with the stars after and tag The Glory, we like to live vicariously through you while combing out our wigs.
Without further fagging around…
OUR TOP 10 MUST WATCH SHOWS:
DIANE CHORLEY – RHYMTH OF LIVE
8.40pm – Underbelly
Brand new songs from Jonny Woo’s favourite drag character on the scene right now.. accompanied by her musician Milky Bar Kid, Diane Chorley is an 80s-drenched monolith of musical comedy genius .. Lose yourself in her fantasy backstory and wild rollercoaster past as a chart-haunting pop star and the one-time Duchess of Canvey. LOVE LOVE LOVE Diane Chorley, GO! We might sneak up to see her ourselves (shhhhh)
JAYDE ADAMS – JAYDE IS JAYDED
9.30pm Pleasance Courtyard
She’s stolen the show with The Glory twice now, probably more, but certainly at The National Theatre and at Jonny Woo’s Un-Royal Variety. She will blow you away with her voice and barrels of pissed-off charm.
JOE SUTHERLAND – MODEL/ACTRESS
10.45pm Pleasance Courtyard
Joe is a razor-sharp young comic and so watchable your eyelids will hate you by the end of the show. Radiating star power watching Joe Sutherland is like going under a comedy sunbed. We’re honoured to be working on-and-off with him while he waits for that maje TV contract to drop onto his doormat, any week now! See him while he’s cheap.
DOUZE – by XNTHONY and THE PENNY SLOTS
8.30pm – C Venues
The star of our very own ‘Bingo Babes’ Xnthony is the hottest thing to come out of Ireland since Samantha Mumba, he’s even hotter than John and Edwards’ rings. This one hour musical all about a Eurovision wannabe is so slick and camp, we can’t think of a better way to spend your free time, and Xnthony is a delight to watch! A dish you might say, not that entertainment is about the looks, the bitch can also sing!
TOM ALLEN – ABSOLUTELY
8.00pm – Pleasance Courtyard
WOAH he was funny at Latitude! We had some time off so all went to see his show at Latitude and despite extreme hangovers we COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING! Go and see Tom Allen and have a wee first. He might even tell you about being invited to a “Garriage”
PATRICK TURPIN – ITTY BITTY LITTLE TITTY PIECE
10.40pm – Underbelly
OH my hell he’s cute.. Patrick did a preview show here and his surreal comedy had us thinking and giggling for weeks, this boy is super special and if you get to party with him we are FUMING in advance.
JACK ROOKE – HAPPY HOUR
5.30pm – Underbelly
The new hot ticket from “Good Grief’ star Jack Rooke, we’ve followed Jack’s work since he was a teeny performance poet and so proud of how far he’s come along. We can’t wait to see this new comedy show – set in a bar apparently with an actual bartender in the show, OR SOMETHING – How Bette Lynch! Just go – it will only be brilliant if it’s Jack Rooke making it and it looks like we’re losing him to TV already so enjoy the intimate venue while you can!
SARAH KEYWORTH – WHY NOT? (WIP)
9.35pm – Ciao Roma
She’s the one to watch. When we met Sarah in her unassuming chequered shirt and the faintest hint of a smile on her lips we had no idea just how savagely funny and fiercely intelligent her comedy was. She’s the next big lesbian thing, watch out Sue. She’s actually funny enough to knock the whole scene for six across the board, but she’ll probably conquer lesbo corner first. We hope she does her routine about being a student nanny + the bit about pigeons.
DESIREE BURCH – UNF*CKABLE
10.00pm – Bob’s BlundaBus (Venue 212 b*tch)
Ok – she blew the roof off The Glory when she came here to perform at Sue Gives A F*ck’s comedy night. Just sheer brilliance and so much energy and passion – and she’s SO inappropriate we were blushing for weeks!
STEPHEN BAILEY – CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT
5.15pm – The Three Sisters
Our fave ginger baby Stephen is a rising star with his catty retorts about Facebook statuses, gay dating, fag hags and working on Loose Women etc. His new show is bound to be brimming with camp asides and millenial savoir faire. Always a guaranteed giggle – go and see Stephen while you’re up there!
SOOZ KEMPNER – SOOZ ON FILM
6.50pm – Underbelly Med Quad
And YOU MUST share an hour with Sooz, the most fun-loving kind-hearted gem of a human that we’ve met this last year! Sooz wowed us all with a night of songs from musicals – she is also in the new line-up of Jonny Woo Sings Brexit, but this is her own show – she is an absolute treasure. Promise us you go and see her, OMG, we’re jealous you’re all at the Fringe! #TeamSooz